Thoughts on "First Week"

I just finished my first week of term at Oxford.

*insert victory dance here*

Each week of the term is called by its number, so First, Second, Third week ect. So I just finished First Week! This means that this week began our real lectures, in gorgeous lecture theaters in gorgeous colleges, and our weekly one-on-one meetings with tutors. So my week looks a little like this; I go to only one or two lectures everyday, mostly on Victorian Literature and Women's Writings (I think they are trying to turn me into a feminist...), once a week I meet with a tutor to talk about Jane Austen for an hour (amazing, right?!) and every other week I meet with her to discuss C.S. Lewis (I know, I know!!). At each of these meetings I have an extensive reading list and a lengthy paper due, but that is it! No busy work, no tests or group projects. Its wonderful. And having a one-on-one meeting with a brilliant Oxford Professor not only ensures that you do the reading, but that you have you have thought about it and come prepared to say impressive and Oxford-y things about it. No pressure....
I love the way this system works though. I get the undivided attention of the professor and a chance to really push the limits on what I think about while I am reading. I get to ask hard questions and think about how to answer hard questions. I can already see how I will grow in confidence as an intellectual this term and I am excited to see what that means. One thing I have learned already though is that I have no desire to be a 'professional scholar'. All the intellectual conversations, all the time spent in the classroom and libraries, all the reading and writing, doesn't mean hardly anything if God is not in it. If God is not in the relationship, in the conversation, in the term paper, then what is the point. Don't get me wrong, I love school and I love learning. I love intellectual conversations and using the brain that I know God gave me for a reason. But there is something decidedly missing in the academic world. Even living in a house full of Christian students, I cannot help but notice that there is depth missing... I am still thinking about and rolling this idea around in my head and haven't quite put my finger on what this means for the academic world, but its important to me. I think God is showing me that the passion he has been growing in me in the last few years working in Residence Life at Jessup, I am so passionate about deep and meaningful relationships. Watching people grow and learn who they are and what they are passionate about. If the academic side of me is an open door into someone's heart then I will take it, but I am more interested in the heart than the brain.

The weeks are going by faster now, what with classes everyday and deadlines at the end of the week. In only eight weeks I will be home and getting ready to go into my last semester of college. I am so beyond thankful for this opportunity to travel, to study here in this amazing city, and I really don't want to seem ungrateful, but at the end of the day.... I would still rather be at home. I know that sounds terrible, but it is simply true. Its true, I am learning so much, getting so much out of this experience, and loving every moment of being an Oxford student, but when it all comes down to it, I miss my home. I miss family and friends, and especially my Jessup family that means so much to me, and very much so a special man who has been my strength while being separated from him for so long. I am really looking forward to all that this trip has to teach me, and for when I am home and can bring these stories to you all, and share with you what God did in my heart. Because I know for a fact that this trip is bigger than just my brain. So much more is going on, so much more on my mind. I can't wait to see what happens next...